As a parent of a Third Culture Kid (TCK) - a child who grows up in a culture different from their parents’ passport country - you’re giving them a unique, multicultural upbringing. But this globally mobile lifestyle can come with emotional and identity challenges that aren’t always visible.

While TCKs are often described as adaptable, resilient, and worldly, the transitions they go through - moving countries, changing schools, and navigating new cultures - can deeply impact their sense of belonging and stability. Understanding what your child is experiencing is the first step in helping them thrive.

Many TCKs present as flexible and social. But behind that exterior can be a complex emotional world. Each move may feel like a small loss: saying goodbye to friends, routines, familiar places, even parts of their identity. This cycle of constant change can make it hard for children to form lasting attachments or feel a deep sense of belonging anywhere.

As a parent, it’s easy to focus on the logistics of a move—packing, schools, housing—without realising that your child may be grieving, confused, or simply overwhelmed. What looks like “adjustment issues” may actually be unspoken grief or identity confusion.

For most adults, “Where are you from?” is an easy question. For TCKs, it’s anything but. Your child may have lived in five countries before the age of ten, speak several languages, and have friends from around the world - but feel like they belong nowhere in particular.

This “in-between” feeling can lead to confusion and restlessness. TCKs may struggle to feel fully understood, especially in new environments where peers haven’t had similar experiences. They might not talk about it openly, but they often carry a silent question: Where do I truly belong?

Adapting to a new environment involves more than learning a new language or adjusting to a school curriculum. Your child may face unspoken cultural norms, unfamiliar values, or social expectations that conflict with what they’ve previously known. These tensions can lead to withdrawal, frustration, or acting out - not because they’re “misbehaving,” but because they’re trying to make sense of a world that feels unfamiliar.

It’s important to remember: children may be more sensitive to cultural dissonance than adults. They are still forming their identity and may not yet have the emotional tools to process their experiences.

Every move brings a kind of loss - of friends, a familiar neighbourhood, a favourite teacher, or even a beloved pet left behind. TCKs often don’t get the chance to grieve these losses properly because everyone around them is focused on the excitement of the next adventure.

As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is acknowledge your child’s sense of loss. Let them talk about what they miss. Validate their feelings, even when they seem small to you. In doing so, you’re giving them permission to feel - and heal.

Helping your child adapt to a new environment isn’t just about practical preparations—it’s about emotional and identity support. Here’s how you can guide them through the process:

Talk about the move—not just the logistics, but the emotional impact. Ask your child what they’re excited about, and what they’re worried about. Let them share memories of the place they’re leaving. Listen without trying to “fix” everything.

Build in time for proper farewells. Help your child say goodbye to people, places, and routines. Create rituals—write letters, take photos, revisit favourite spots. These gestures help provide emotional closure and prevent unresolved grief from following them into the new place.

Bring elements of the old life into the new - familiar meals, holiday traditions, bedtime routines. Continuity helps create a sense of safety and stability when everything else is changing.

Affirm their multicultural background. Encourage them to talk about where they’ve lived, the languages they speak, the stories they carry. Make it clear that they don’t have to choose one culture over another - being in between is a valid identity.

Look for opportunities for your child to meet others with shared experiences - whether through playdates, expat communities, or online groups. A single friend who "gets it" can make a big difference in helping them feel less alone.

If your child seems unusually withdrawn, anxious, or emotionally volatile after a move, consider talking to a culturally sensitive counsellor. Sometimes children need a neutral space to process things they don’t want to share with a parent.

Your children watch how you handle transitions. Show them that it’s okay to miss things, to be sad, to feel uncertain—and that it’s also okay to be hopeful and excited about new beginnings. Let them see both strength and softness.

Being a parent to a TCK means helping your child hold together the many pieces of who they are - and reassuring them that all of those pieces are valuable. It’s not about giving them one identity, but about helping them shape their own.

Yes, they may grow up without a simple answer to "Where are you from?" But they’ll have something deeper: a sense of home that lives not in one place, but in the connections they’ve made, the cultures they carry, and the stories you help them preserve.

Craig Cuyler
Designated Safeguarding Lead/Director of Wellbeing/Head of PSHEe