From the Base
During Children's Mental Health Awareness Week, I did some work with Y6-8 entitled the 'Cognitive Triangle'. At its heart it is based on:
THOUGHT leads to FEELINGS leads to BEHAVIOUR
So, a negative thought brings negative feelings which brings negative behaviour.
'No one likes me,' leads to, 'I feel lonely and sad,' leads to 'I want to be by myself and shut everyone out'.
The negative behaviour often reinforces the negative thought as well, so the person above, by isolating themselves, then feels even more that no one likes them.
The good news is that the opposite is true. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes. 'I am loved' makes us feel 'happy and secure' which leads to 'I show others how much I love them too'.
Positive thinking can be a difficult thing. But coaching and encouraging our children to challenge their thoughts can make a real difference. The next time someone in your family behaves poorly, try working backwards to feelings and thoughts, and see if there could be a change made. After all, we want to be in charge of what we do, and by consequence of what we feel, so we need to be the boss of our thoughts.
Please do join me on Saturday for our parent coffee and chat.