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Reflecting on emotional and physical safety

There’s one way you can tell that you’re the very first of the early runners to jog the paths of the water meadows of a morning: it is that you’re the one breaching the spider web threads spanning from one side to the other, gathering across your face like so many Lilliputian ropes cast around Gulliver.

Though these threads do not, of themselves, threaten your safety, they can be jolly irritating – even agitating. Certainly, they can distract you from the clearer danger of a large stone underfoot on which you could twist an ankle… 

One’s sense of safety (emotional and physical) was the theme for reflection at the start of this week. I encouraged the boys to identify things which can impact it negatively, from the repeatedly agitating equivalent of spider threads to the single significant threat of a large stone. There were some very well-expressed ideas from within the context of school life, and we discussed how individually and collectively we can build up or erode someone’s feeling of safety. Self-reflection is at the root of empathy, after all.  

This was the first of a series of assemblies I will do on a relatively recent reinterpretation of the well-familiar ‘hierarchy of needs’ developed by the psychologist Maslow. This newer iteration, from the current-day psychologist Scott Kaufman, does away with the traditional pyramid representation as too ‘static’, something that suggests it needs to be climbed, scaled, conquered. He favours the visual representation of a yacht, where safety, then connection, then self-esteem combine to form the hull. The yacht is a more dynamic image, where the ‘self’ it represents journeys across the ocean of life; sometimes glass-calm, sometimes toweringly rough. The hull must be secure, stable and strong for the journey to be possible. (More of the ‘sail’ in weeks to come…) Actions that compromise the sense of safety – thoughtlessly or otherwise – therefore compromise the ability to stay afloat. 

So it was that the boys were encouraged to reflect on how critical it is that our actions are always attuned to helping others feel safe in who they are; that this is a primary responsibility to one another and the base on which the hull of the good ship Pilgrims’ is constructed. 

Our Normandy-bound Year 6 historians certainly felt safely ensconced in their coach at 5.30am yesterday after Wednesday’s positively biblical rain had relented! We wish them a wonderful rest of their trip as they blend historic sites both early medieval and 20th-Century. Meanwhile, Year 7 have been off at Roche Court today for their art trip, of which more in next week’s edition. With a large number of pupils already off, learning and expanding their horizons on trips, I thought I would get in on the act too! From Monday to Wednesday next week, I shall be in Liverpool for the annual conference of IAPS (Independent Association of Prep Schools) Heads – an event that is always important for keeping at ‘the front edge’ of sector-related matters. After this Ticket To Ride, I shall be taking The Long And Winding Road back to Winchester in time for the later stages of marking Founder’s Obit at WinColl. 

It has been a tremendous opening to the term so far. Standing in the pouring rain on Wednesday, watching the 3rd XI play a cracking game and gain a well-deserved win, I was reminded of one more facet of the Pilgrims’ spirit. With so much of it expended in these first two weeks or so – and with my hat raised to the wonderfully dedicated Choristers and Quiristers as they remain in school to continue to sing their services - may I wish you all a restful and restorative exeat weekend. 

Tim Butcher
Headmaster

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